So It's Resolved Then?

January 2nd - by now, I guess everybody should have their New Year's Resolutions clearly defined and know by what they'll gauge their failures in 12 months time.

I mean, seriously, we don't expect to really achieve these resolutions, do we?

I for one don't think that any resolution made on January 1st is going to stick, if all my other "good intentions" throughout the year didn't result in significant change.

Or, put the other way around, if I can make substantial and positive changes on January 1st, why not whenever I need to throughout the year?

Maybe understanding why we fail to change, and what's different when people succeed in changing, would help us to determine whether there's any point in making any New Years Resolutions.

The basic flaw in most people's thinking is to believe that our wistful thoughts of a better future are enough to effect real change in our lives. Wistful isn't enough.

We've got to be so hungry for it, that we'll scale impenetrable fortresses for that delicious fruit of success.

If there's 'food' all around us and our stomachs are half-full, then the effort we expend halts at the first few hurdles we encounter.

It's only when we haven't 'eaten' for a week, and we're desperate for some life-giving fruit, that we finally resolve to use every ounce of energy left in us to acquire that fruit, and not only to acquire it but to ensure we never fall into that same situation again.

If you want to make any resolutions this year, I'd suggest you do the following:
(1) Only tackle goals that you'd be willing to die for.
(2) Clearly, unmistakeably, identify the behaviours which will saboutage your achievement of those goals.
(3) Act immediately.
(4) Expect setbacks and 'failures' - expect them, but return doggedly to those hurdles with the belief that this goal is absolutely worth infinite repeat attempts.
(5) Whenever you're faced with the choice to behave in support of your goal or to take an alternate action which defeats your goal, remind yourself consciously and specifically that the consequence of taking the wrong action IS to defeat your achievement of your goal (more because you're sustaining the wrong behaviours than because of the action itself) and ask yourself if you're prepared to give up on that goal? Remember, this is the goal you were willing to die for!

I refuse to return to the conditions I've previously experienced in various areas of my life, and I'm absolutely convinced that a much better path is ahead of me which I am NOT prepared to compromise. Every time I'm faced with the temptation to behave contrary to my goals, I remind myself of the pain of the old situation, and the long term contentment of the new.

This works. But it worked for me not just at New Year. It worked for me from the moment I decided I would make any sacrifice necessary to achieve certain specific goals in my life.

I pray that you find clear goals which you are absolutely passionate about, and that are so clear in your mind and heart that you'll no longer accept your own self-defeating behaviours but will instead commit yourself unwaveringly too... whether it's at the start of this new year, or at any other time throughout the year.

Note : If anybody's serious about making a significant and positive change in their life and feels that some encouragement and accountability would help them get there, feel free to contact me - I'll gladly assist anybody who's SERIOUS about improving themself and their situation.

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